Obituary Announcement Of The Late 'Mr.Common Sense'
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come out in the rain; why the early bird gets the warm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common sense lived by simple, sound financial policies such as(don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies such as(adults, not children, are in charge). The health of Mr. common sense began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbeating regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened the health condition of Mr. common sense.
Common sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. His health declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer a bandaid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten commandments became useless; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Mr. Common sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Mr. Common sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement from a lawsuit filed against the coffee shop.
Common sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
Common sense is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I know my rights, I want it now, Someone else is to blame, and i'm A victim.
Not many attended Mr. Common sense's funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, please pass on this message. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Author: Unknown
Made available courtesy of Maurice Kamara
Student-University Of Manitoba.
Winnipeg, Canada.